The title sounds so much like I just lost someone/broke up/etc 
No… moving on from my Postgrad Diploma. What next?
I think somewhere along the way I have mentioned about the possibility of doing my PhD… and today I was told that based on my results of my Postgrad Diploma, I am eligible for consideration for PhD candidacy.
But PhD is still too early for me to do right now… maybe a few years down the line. In making sure that I keep abreast of research developments in that area I am studying and also to keep up the momentum, my supervisor and I have agreed to churn out and publish (in international journals of course!) some research papers. I will do it independently, in my professional capacity, not aligned to any research or academic institution but as part of a larger study stemming from the research I did during my P.Dip. days. And my wonderful supervisor will journey with me along the way.
I don’t know how much doing my PhD will benefit me.
I do know at least, that the papers I’ll be churning out now will directly benefit me in my professional and personal capacity as well as contribute to academia. But it’s hard to say that in say, 5 years time I would still be doing what I am currently working as.
I guess this is something only time will tell.
For now, I’m committing myself to publish one journal paper, hopefully by the end of this year. Time to start hunting for reputable journals to publish in and examine their submission guidelines.
For all the political drama going on there.
Admittedly, I have believed it as nothing more than political overhype all these while.
Until I had the opportunity to go to Kota Kinabalu for 2 weeks. Which totally shook every fibre of my thought. No, the problems run deeper than just political disgruntlement.
I shall not comment any further… except that on the grassroots, Sabahans aren’t kidding when they said they’re fed up with the government. And after hearing personal accounts on why, I deeply sympathize with their predicaments… ask me personally if you want to know why.
As I was broswing some country songs in the iTunes Music Store, thinking what’s the latest hit to listen to and purchase, this one particular song showed up in my iTunes “Just For You” section, and one song title caught my eye - Jesus, Take The Wheel.
It caught me because well, of the word Jesus, and the fact that it was categorized under the country genre and sung by Carrie Underwood. Curious, I previewed the song, liked what I heard, and bought it. After listening to the whole song then I realized how meaningful the song is, and upon some research, found that it was actually Carrie’s debut single and also a Grammy winning song.
Here are the lyrics to the song. Even when our lives is messed up, if we let Jesus “take the wheel”, he’ll restore us.
Jesus, Take the Wheel
She was drivin’ last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Goin’ home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the back seat
Fifty miles to go and she was runnin’ low
On faith and gasoline
It’d been a long hard year
She had a lot on her mind and she didn’t pay attention
She was goin’ way too fast
Before she knew it she was spinning on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn’t even have time to cry
She was so scared, she threw her hands up in the air
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I’m on
Jesus take the wheel
It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder
And the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby
In the back seat sleepin’ like a rock
And for the first time in a long time she bowed her head to pray
She said I’m sorry for the way
I’ve been livin’ my life
I know I’ve got to change
So from now on tonight
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
‘Cause I can’t do this on my own
I’m letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I’m on
Jesus take the wheel
I will never forget that night you sent me that SMS.
I thought it was just “one of those moments” again. I didn’t take it seriously.
I was so wrong.
I thought I could never forgive myself for that. How did you think I felt when Jun Wei called to pray for your safety and Jey too?
I’ll also never forget the moment after the news broke and I read your blog and saw your final letter. And it chilled my heart when I saw my name there, and I couldn’t read on anymore.
I still cannot comprehend why you had to do what you had to do, Val. But it has caused me to be more concerned about others when suicidal thoughts cross their mind rather to brush it off as “ah, its just attention-grabbing talk”.
ChiQy, so many things have changed without you around. I still wish you were here but I have to move on now.
To MYCocoaHeads members who knew her,
Let us all remember her as the bubbly person that she is, always keen to learn and never afraid to try new things and new challenges, who took on learning programming with such a teachable spirit, passion and fervor. In such a short time that many of you have known her, I am sure she has left a lasting impression on you.
She will continue to live in many of our memories for much longer than this.
Ta, again, valval.
♥, Jinjin.
